House s5ep20

I've watched it today and I can't hold back my tears. I can't stop crying. It's only a fiction but I'm sad and afraid. Because a guy like him, so cheerful, a guy like him who was smiling to everybody, commited suicide. So then, how a girl like me is supposed to react?

I'm scared to be able to do some... things.

His corpse, her cries and yelling while attempting to resuscitate him -it brings back so horrible memories.

Life sucked all over again.

Herro thar.

I'm feeling so down right now ahah. Isn't a blog the best place to cry emo tears and bring the drama? OH THE DRAMA.

Well tomorrow is my last day of vacation. I don't want it to end because I'll be back to my stressful and annoying college life. I can't say the past 3 weeks were enjoyable either, it was rather a boredom. B-But I'm feeling so down, so sad and scared to return to college with people I don't know, just some acquaintances, and courses I despise.

Blah I've the impression I've lost all my English fluency (does it had ever existed? lolol)

I'm feeling like being on Sunday -I hate Sundays. I'm feeling empty, sad, down, depressed *OH THE DRAMA*. The thing is that mom announced bad news to me an hour ago -I hate family issues.

Yeah right. I was feeling unwell because it is the end of summer vacation AND now I know things, one of which I don't want to believe. Brother complex I must say.

I wanted to be comforted. I have been disappointed by the person I love the most. Why. I have been, like, ignored. It hurts so much.

Oh well. I'll fake a smile. Again.

(man I'm such an attention whore oTL )


Edit : I feel such a dumbass right now. She was here to comfort me after another bad news, she tried in her own way and I feel much better now. I love her so much.
Many thanks to Nighty too. You two are so precious to me. *hugs*

FUCK IT

FUCK IT ALL. Too kind, too fucking stupid. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUUUUUUCK!!!! (rage_) <-I miss this icon
And I don't have chocolate to eat anymore. How can I get better now?

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in peoples eyes.

How ironical life can be.

Just when I said to Nighty on the phone yesterday that my life never had been as bright as it was. And few minutes later all was shattered.

How ironical life can be.

Today is a sunny day, I can smell Spring. I'll try to smile, maybe Titine will be able to make me laugh...but I doubt my joy will be sincere.

s-sob

I just feel like crying right now. Though I said yesterday night all was alright with me... Eh, guess I'm not that strong. But I don't want to be moody anymore. I just want to be happy, for ever.
*Off to sleep.*

But it wasn’t anyone else, of course. It was just her and anger.

How frustrating it is when you worked with effort on a drawing that at last doesn't please you at all.

I've always wanted to draw Latvia in warm Russian clothes but I feel like failing. How, HOW frustrating.

Ah, I'm breaking donw, again. Such an attention whore I am. Eh.

NGHNNN TAKE THAT ! /THROWS COMP @ THE WALL

Yeah.
So today was a fucking shitty day, yahoo ! ♥
My comp rebooted 8 times by itself, and my antivirus didn't work anymore. I passed my afternoon to uninstall all the stuff and to install it again. FFF I LOVE MY ROTTEN LIFE. /DOESN'T JIZZ IN HER PANTS.
Plus my family was fed up of me because of my fucking bad-temper. I understand them though, I can't even bear with myself. Why am I always yelling at others ? Why am I always complaining ? It must be tiring for others as much as it is tiring for me. D:
I AM SORRY OKAY ? I DON'T LIKE TO BE ALWAYS ANGRY EITHER. D8
But thanks to Mae I avoided the crashing-computer-against-the-wall thing -or suicide if you want. She's always here to hear my complaints, thank you bb ♥

Also, you may see that I added a shoutbox and a playlist ♥
GAWD I passed my time on them too. Especially the playlist.
You see, I want to put more songs but each time I'm trying to convert my music into URL, my comp reboots. It seems that my comp doesn't fancy the site ! OTL I'll try tomorrow (if I have time) on the laptop.
I WANT YOU TO DISCOVER WHAT I'M LISTENING ALL THE TIME 8D LOL /SHOT


Beside, Damien, my ex boyfriend, is harrassing me on msn. He is the leader of a screamo band and wants me to draw each members of the group (they're 5 omg) for their Myspace profil. WHUT ? As if I have time ! XD But he doesn't want to hear my excuse (like, I have a tone of work for my mid-term exams, blahblahblah).
So... he sent me the photos of the members (._.) I tried to draw him first and... he LOVED it.It's just a sketch, but he said it was amazing and it'd be okay to draw like that for the others. OMG I'M HAPPY I WON'T KILL MY ASS ON IT !
(屮゜Д゜♥)屮

Speaking of ass -LOL- I just realized that I didn't send my Valentine's drawing for Ciel ! I totally forget omg. (>_<)
And she still isn't online on msn. I think I'll have to wait another day because now I'm off to bed OTL